Holy tension, Batman! That’s what I encountered this morning, some holy tension.

Forgiveness has been a preoccupying topic for me for the past several months. Have spent more than a little time on “Why Should I?” and “How Can I?” (thanx Tim Keller). Under the “how” banner, Matthew 18:15 has been coming up again and again and again.

“If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won your brother.” ~ Jesus

(Matthew 18:15 CSB)

There it is. Pretty simple really. Been sinned against? Go deal with it. Not in a crowd. Not with the intent to seek justice or make sure someone get’s their comeuppance. But go to the one who you think sinned against you. Show them how they sinned against you, using biblical language help them see their transgression. And for what purpose? To win your brother. To be back in relationship.

Simple? Yup. Easy. Not so much. But, if as the people of God, we were more obedient to this command there’d be more sin dealt with and more authentic gospel community demonstrated. And there’d be less gossiping about how we’ve been wronged and less temptation to “make things right” by taking matters into our own hands.

So, necessary? Yup, again. Always necessary? According to something that jumped off the page this morning in Proverbs, not necessarily. Holy tension!

A person’s insight gives him patience,
and his virtue is to overlook an offense.

(Proverbs 19:11 CSB)

Overlook an offense? What?!?

I don’t have to go face-to-face with everyone who I think has sinned against me? I don’t have to work it out one-on-one? I can just overlook an offense? In fact, it’s a virtue — it’s literally beauty, splendor, and glory — to just “forgive and forget” (MSG)? Apparently.

Brother!

Okay, so let’s not be too melodramatic. This isn’t totally new news. I am aware that such a precedent has been clearly set in the New Testament. After all, “love covers a multitude of sins” (1Pet. 4:8).

But how do I know when to go tell a brother and when not to?

Insight. Prudence. Discretion. Good sense. Understanding.

Think before acting and patience will be present. Be slow to anger and you might just discern that the best thing you can do, the most virtuous course of action will simply be to overlook an offense. Especially if you remember that the literal meaning of the word overlook is “to pass over.” Hmm . . . that sounds familiar.

Insight. Insight as to the provision provided for people’s sin, even sin against you. The blood of Jesus shed so that sin could be overlooked.

Then, remembering that you’ve been forgiven by God. And not just a little, but a lot. That insight is gonna help because if we’ve been forgiven much how can we not forgive others? In fact, to not forgive is wickedness according to Jesus (Mt. 18:32-33).

And then, believing that vengeance is the Lord’s (Rom. 12:19, Heb. 10:30). God’s gonna set things right. Unrepentant sin is going to be dealt with at the Bema Seat — the day will come when Jesus tests with fire our actions and our inactions. Or, perhaps, that day has already come. For if they do repent, whether you know about it or not, the price will already have been paid on the cross 2,000 years ago. Jesus’ blood sufficient for any and all sin, even sin committed against us — sin which we can overlook.

Insight. Wisdom. It’s kind of what Proverbs is all about. And, when it comes to a transgression against us, it’s what will direct us at to whether we should go to a brother or overlook an offense.

Only by God’s grace. Always for God’s glory.