They’re jarring. These words create not only a dissonance but also a discomfort. I encounter them and I find myself having to make a call, “Chew on them, or gloss over them.” This morning I’m chewing.

“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.” ~ Jesus

(Luke 14:26 ESV)

Hate . . . My kids weren’t allowed to say that word (nor the “s”-word, shut-up) when they were little. But here Jesus uses the word. And, alongside father and mother.

So, maybe there’s something lost in the translation. So, I look up the original meaning? You guessed it, to hate, to detest. That’s not helpful.

But noodle on it a bit and you know what Jesus DOESN’T MEAN. The law says that we are to honor our father and mother” (Ex. 20:12) — and Jesus didn’t come to dismiss the law, but to fulfill it (Mt. 5:17) — so we know that “honoring” and “hating” must somehow be compatible. I think it gets clearer if you can make your way to the end of the list of things Jesus says His disciples must hate . . . as in, even his own life. Cue the gospel of John:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there will My servant be also. If anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him.” ~ Jesus

(John 12:24-26 ESV)

Hating our life in this present world is equated with following Jesus in this present world. Hating our life is juxtaposed with loving Jesus. Hating our life then is about loving our lives less than we love Jesus. About serving the desires of the flesh less than serving the Spirit revealed way of Jesus. If I read to the end of the passage in Luke, Jesus makes it clear Himself.

“So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be My disciple.” ~ Jesus

(Luke 14:33 ESV)

Renouncing all. Saying good-bye to self. Bidding adieu, departing from my desires. That’s what hating everything else is about. It’s not about it being wrong to love anything else, parents and self included, it’s about loving everything else less than loving Jesus. It’s about loving Him more than all other things — parents, family, and self included.

Still jarring. Still a certain discomfort. And still worth chewing on. For, if I’m honest with myself, I know how much my heart seeks to love other things more than Jesus, but I also know how committed Jesus is to renewing and refocusing my heart.

Lord, I want to decrease, even as You increase (Jn. 3:30). I want to put to death “the deeds of the body” (Rom. 8:12-14). I want You, in all things, to be preeminent (Col. 1:18).

I want, but Lord You know my weakness.

Be my strength, Lord. For it is no longer just me who’s trying to love You more, but we (Gal. 2:20).

By Your grace. For Your glory.