It’s an episode of “friends” that captures the spotlight in my Proverbs reading this morning.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
       profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
       and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend,
       and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity.
Better is a neighbor who is near
       than a brother who is far away.

(Proverbs 27:6, 27:9, 27:10 ESV)

Welcoming, even valuing the wounds of a friend. When things get rough, opting for a friend who is near over family who is far away. Oh, the premium wisdom’s Teacher places on such friends.

And in an age where “friends” are numbered in the hundreds on social media, and in a culture where we are not really looking for friends to be face-to-face faithful but to be online followers, and where family is often exchanged for a tribe, how many have lost how much of knowing the true sweetness of a friend. For that, says the Teacher, is what real friendship is — sweet!

In ancient times oil and perfume were a luxury. To receive them was to make the heart glad, was to be a catalyst for delight and rejoicing. So too is the luxury of a friend’s earnest counsel. That’s the phrase from verse 9 that I’m chewing on this morning.

Earnest counsel . . . “Hearty counsel”, that’s how the NKJV renders it. Literally it’s “counsel of the soul.”

In a day when so much of our friend-talk can be consumed with the triviality of our favorite sports team’s performance or focused almost solely with tales in which we’re the protagonist, what a luxury to sit across the table from someone prepared to engage in meaty, soul-bearing, passion-producing earnest counsel.

In a day of algorithm-generated echo-chambers, how sweet to engage with someone willing to “be nosy”, and “meddle”, and “have an opinion”, even when it is not a shared opinion. Even when it might grate on us a bit — kind of like iron on iron.

Iron sharpens iron,
       and one man sharpens another.

(Proverbs 27:17 ESV)

Hearty conversations aren’t necessarily easy conversations. But to have a friend willing to go there? Well, that’s to be counted as sweet as oil and perfume.

Praise God for friends who engage in earnest counsel.

Requires God’s grace. But it too can be for God’s glory.